Romans 9:2-3 I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I were accursed – cut off from Christ – for the sake of my people.
As a young man, I moved from Oklahoma to California. I wanted to pursue acting, but I also wanted to focus on evangelism. Inspired by Keith Green, I had a passion to tell others about Jesus. My big question was “how?” I listened to recordings of church leaders on evangelism, read books on the subject, and observed how others spread the Gospel. But the more I befriended people who were not Christians, the more I realized a problem that few of my resources were covering. Zeal wasn’t the answer – a broken heart for the lost was. The more I allowed my heart to experience God’s unceasing anguish for the lost, the greater my desire to do whatever I could to help each person know Him. Suddenly evangelism and discipleship became natural expressions of love rather than tasks on a spiritual “to do” list.
In these first verses of Romans, Paul speaks about his love for his lost kinsmen and his willingness to be cut off from Christ for their sake. Before his conversion, Paul had a zeal for God. After his eyes were opened, Paul was filled with God’s heart – God’s anguish for the lost. Paul’s zeal, which had crushed others, transitioned into a love that crushed his heart and caused him to lay down his life for the sake of others. This is the Gospel in action.
Many of the voices on evangelism that I initially followed made me see the lost as targets. It was my job to beat them into submission according to the truth of the Gospel. When my heart began to ache with God’s love for them, tricks and gimmicks became offensive to me. My question changed from “how do I evangelize?” to “how can I show these friends the deep love of God?” In my experience, this anguish doesn’t come because we want it, but because we ask for it. This prayer isn’t about the lost, but about receiving Christ’s heart for the lost. More than ever, in this time of division and conflict, we need hearts that are filled with God’s love for those walking in darkness. As we stand against all attempts to advance darkness and deceit in the world, we must stop seeing people as the enemy. It is a difficult balance found only in prayer and grace.
“Jesus, we do not have the ability or the energy to break through the hatred, confusion, and deception of our time, but Your love can. Fill our hearts with Your anguish for the lost. Transform us into children who look, act, and respond like You.”