Proverbs 27:5-6 Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.
Confrontation, or rebuke, can be difficult – even complicated. There is always the risk of losing a friend. Some people enjoy being confrontational in trivial issues but run from important matters. Many Christians seem to think confrontation is wrong, so they misrepresent the words of Jesus. (Matthew 7:1 Judge not … ) Both the Bible and Jesus confront. And they encourage Christians to be confrontational for the right reasons and in the right manner:
- “If your brother sins against you, go alone and confront him. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” – Jesus (Matthew 18:15)
- But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face… – Paul (Galatians 2:11)
- Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience… (2 Timothy 4:2)
- If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. – Jesus (Luke 17:3)
Godly, loving confrontation is missing in many arenas of Christian life. It is a blind spot that needs attention. Proverbs 27:5, however, deals with being on the receiving end of a rebuke. “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend…” To be confronted by a friend over a serious matter is painful. It is natural to recoil from a wound, even when it is motivated by love. But remember – some wounds are used to help us become more like Jesus. True love bears much, prays always, and may eventually confront. That is tough, risk-filled, somewhat-painful love. Yet, better is open rebuke than love that remains hidden … and far better than the flattering kisses of a false friend.